Is calling someone a Spiritual By-passer the new Spiritual Shaming?

I was having a conversation with one of my good friends today and in the conversation, she said… “do you think I’m spiritual bypassing?”  I said, “OMG, not at all… It’s perfectly acceptable to focus on the good stuff and not doom and gloom”. And for the record if you knew my friend like I do, you would know she does the work!  Her life hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns and she is a miner of gold.  She sifts and sorts through everything to find the blessings and I am extremely proud of her.  She isn’t afraid to sit with her own darkness for a minute and that’s why God gave her 3 precious daughters to raise.  

She laughed… but of course I was serious… Serious enough that here I am in the same afternoon typing away about it because I feel there is a new type of spiritual shaming going on in spiritual communities and it deserves a breath.

Spiritual bypassing is often referred to as an enticing form of escapism or the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.  I do believe this is a thing… but I also believe it’s part of the process of growth and evolution for many.

I can only speak to my own path because that’s the path I know… but in the beginning, I remember wanting to feel good all the time.  I didn’t know at that point of my journey that in order to really feel the wholeness and depth of life I had to take the good with the challenging and the dark with the light because it’s always in a state of flux and change… Just like after day comes night… after low tide comes high tide… and on and on.

I didn’t realize at first when I started to work with affirmations why they weren’t ALL working for me at once.  It took me time to realize the ones that were aligned with my energy (and it’s all about energy) were the ones that really worked.  And the ones that felt SO far-fetched (out of my reach… all love and light “spiritually-bypassy”) simply didn’t resonate. It took me time to re-work these affirmations to a place that I could get my energy behind them. Then, they worked and fit.  But it was all part of my process.

And that’s the thing guys… we are so quick to point out what someone else is doing wrong in their life but maybe that’s their path… their way to the light.  And who are we to think we know better FOR THEM?  

SO… maybe spiritual bypass is ALL part of the path to enlightenment or self-love or self-acceptance and growth??? Who knows… I know it was part of my path until it wasn’t anymore.  I had to get where I am today through where I was.  And I had to learn what I learned in exactly the way I learned it.  

I realize there will always be these labels on things but I do hope we can open our minds enough to see that one’s path to realization and growth is neither right or wrong just because its different from our own.

Thanks for reading and remember to be kind and if you can’t be kind then please, just be quiet.  

With love and compassion for where you are on your path,

Meeg